By making a commitment to my own self-development many years ago, I didn’t realise it at the time, however I was in fact taking the first steps towards becoming responsible for how I was affecting others. I began to understand that how I treated myself had an impact on my relationships with others, either positively or negatively, depending upon my emotional state at the time.
One of the ways I massively lifted my level of self-love was in saying ‘NO’ to alcohol. I’d grown up in an environment where alcohol was the norm at home and at all social functions. Alcohol was a given and drinking was as normal as breathing in our community.
However, I’d begun to realise that I didn’t like who I became after drinking. I didn’t feel real or true, and I didn’t like that my friends and family didn’t feel real or true to me either. On the surface, it seemed like we were having a great time together, but I began to sense that there was in truth a separation between us after drinking alcohol, and I hated that. I wanted to be close to my friends and family, and real with myself.
So, I gave it up ‘cold turkey’ and never looked back longingly for that experience ever again – not once, in the 25 years since.
However, it was not exactly smooth sailing for me as I navigated life as a sober person around everyone else who was not making this choice.
Some of the regular comments I’d receive:
- “You’re no fun anymore!”
- “Are you STILL not drinking!”
- “You don’t have to do this to yourself, you know!”
- “Go on, just have one with us!”
Holding no judgement around alcohol or another’s choice to drink, I totally understood the need to take the edge off when life presents its challenges.
However now 25 years later I’m appreciating that my choice to embrace an alcohol-free lifestyle and to honour my body in this way has led to the development of other ways of dealing with stress or uncomfortable feelings. This choice has allowed a deeper connection with myself and others and has proven to be way more enriching.